BRACE YOURSELF. No, not for the news that
I'm turning 59 on Saturday, cause if you've been close to me, at all,
you know I don't keep my real age a secret. No, brace yourself for this
next bit of news/revelation:
I'M LEAVING THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS.
It's time to press pause. As much as I've loved my work in film/tv, when
I've gotten to work, in all honesty, the infrequency of jobs and the
quality of those jobs makes it nearly impossible to have a decent life
and in the immortal words of my late friend and mentor, musician Shirley
Horn: "I will not stoop (any longer) to conquer." Simply put, unless
I'm driving my OWN PROJECT, I can't afford to just 'stand' in the midst
of anyone else's vision, any longer. It's not profitable to my soul or
my pocketbook.
Fact: Prior to moving to New Mexico in
2007, I had only worked ONE DAY as a non-union actor/stand-in, in my
whole career since 1992. And while I did what I had to do, once in NM,
to survive and interact with the caliber of actor that I was called upon
to work with it, there wasn't one moment of any of that work that I
felt truly valued.., or respected, which showed all too often in the
failure to be credited, professionally, for the work I had done so
tirelessly. So when I would inevitably struggle financially between
jobs, was anyone really surprised, when I have given so much for so
little in return? My poverty of riches only mirrored the state of my
soul and I'm sure most wondered just how long I would remain at a table
where I obviously no longer belonged, waiting for the 'scraps'
leftovered from those that prospered at my (and others like me) expense.
Turning 59 is CLARITY because in one calendar year, I'll
celebrate another milestone, entering a new Decade of Life, God willing,
and I'll be damned if I'm sitting at the same table, in the same seat,
then.
So the Changes I must make, must start NOW.
Happy Birthday to Me.
