Friday, January 12, 2007

...THE JOURNEY CONTINUES


Okay, Friends, Truth is, I've been in a bit of a funk for a few days after I first arrived which is why this update is coming to you so late, having arrived in Santa Fe on Saturday the 6th from my twelve year tenure in New York City.

Met at the airport my a new friend from my previous sojourn, here, I was startled to see so much snow, especially after leaving NYC and it's was a balmy 60 degrees. Once settled, this same friend and his girlfriend wanted me to attend a garthering of Santa Fe's artistic crowd. That evening I was thrusted into the nightlife of Santa Fe only to be totally underwhelmed and then Sunday, the next morning I awoke deathly ill.., no energy, snuffy headache, hypersensitve eyesight... just a mess for two full days! As with all of my illnesses, since I rarely get sick, I know that I'm being immobiled for spiritual reasons, immediately. This time would prove to be no different.
That Monday evening, tho, I pulled myself together to go the FILM TECHNICIAN orientation I had come to Santa Fe to learn more about and while there, all that I heard should have excited me.., but no.., I just couldn't see myself doing it all over again, getting into this self-imposed exile, in a new place, that old 'energy' of networking and making deals I had already exerted in all the other major cities and major moves, in my 20's, 30's and 40's...

But, what could I do about it? Was this all these was for me? Truly what options did I have?

Tuesday was another funky day, 'tho I felt better, but my funk existed and I knew it was for reasons that made this time and place, here in Santa Fe, not the time and place I belonged in...
For instance, I was told at the Department of Motor Vehicle (main office) that I had to get my driving record from Texas (did I mention that I haven't driven or a had license since 1990!!) .., and basically was shut down from even thinking that I could declare myself a citizen of this state in time to make the start of class on the 20th and tuition fees for the FILM school would have to include 'out of state' fees, and with just enough money for school as a resident..., NO SCHOOL., it would appear, at this time.

Fine!!

Now what!!?...

Now enter Ms.Jill Carey-Lickley, the landlady from the Earthship, HelioHouse, I had rented with KEEGAN in November, to the rescue!!

Jill writes me, Wednesday with a dialogue that carried over into Thursday, in response to my Saturday greeting when I landed in Albuquerque I sent to a few via text message, to casually ask how I'm doing..,

I share with her, first about the strange illness that had come upon me.. and she writes back with the comment, "God is speaking to you' and a little advice about coming to visit her, again at the Earthship, to make me feel better.., so I write back, and ask when and continue to share with her my dilemna with school and Santa Fe, and finances and she says..,

"Then, come 'housesit my homes while I visit my kids in CA for two, maybe three weeks...and just get your license here (TAOS), and you can drive my car while I'm gone, as well as while you're here, to get work!!!!

Excuse Me ???!!

After much more conversation throughout both days, she reveals that January has been a slow month with February shaping up to be the same and that I could stay in HelioHouse ( http://www.heliohouse.com/ ) for free, while she's home, and if she rents it, I can stay in her office/den ...all while I get into the rhythm of New Mexico (it's REALLY DIFFERENT here, believe it), which is all I wanted to do in these initial and critical first few months.

That, and truly commune with GOD in this sacred place, for HIS DIRECTION and WILL, not my own version of how things 'could' work out.., but truly, for the first time in my impetous life.. discover HOW THEY SHOULD work out in His Eyes.

AMEN and AMEN!!

Please don't panic or think I've lost my senses (again), the school could still happen.., there's another round of courses starting in Santa Fe and Albuquerque in September, if this is yet important to my transformation in the desert.., but I know this is what I need to do first.., get my residency in New Mexico and...

GET ESTABLISHED with GOD in this Earthship community, in the area I where I fell in love with New Mexico and found my heart and my muse and my faith, again !! Not 'till you're standing in the mesa just outside the front of the home where I stood for three weeks of sunrises, could one even begin to understand the vision I have of life as I look out over this incredible terrain. Even covered with snow, you know GOD is doing a work here.. that the rest of the world will understand in time. These solar powered homes stand as a momument to our humble beginnings as desert people, following a cloud of smoke by day and a pillar of fire by night. I know that the more time I get to be here with the old fears and cares I'm traveled with for so long slowly melting away, I'll find not only the peace I seek, but the fulfillment and the use of all my natural gifts and talents. That's why I'm in the desert, dear friends.., all other ground is sinking sand.

It's Friday, now. Thanks for enduring this epistle.. I wanted you all to know the good news and to feel, with me, the Hand of God gently nudging me along this journey!!


PRAYER REQUEST: Employment, Transportation and Permanent Lodging would appear to be needed.., but if I'm to be honest, the one I would cherish above all those is continued divine mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health, 'cause I know with those, I'll be able to hear, perceive, respond and perform as GOD would have his son behave in this strange and wonderful land!



`EDEN of Tres Piedras

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

LIVING, Again

....

January 6th, I arrived in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with heart in hand, luggage for 20 men and a song in my heart. There's a drive into Santa Fe from Albuquerque's airport that rivals any of the natural wonders of the world in it's absolute splendor, even covered in snow as it was today, it was still breathtaking. The whole journey, I had one sublime thought.., "I live here, now."



LIVING, again. What a concept. Not that I wasn't 'alive' before, but I would be the first to say that I wasn't truly living. I did alot of things for others, and I've been a good brother to many, but in the end, I found that I had taken the adage of 'dying to self' to an unhealthy place and 'tho I was giving from a full heart, I was drawing on such a shallow depth that not only would I run dry easily, I found that the water..in the well from which I drew hadn't been renewed, in quite some time. It was finally time to close up that well and strike out for new terrain with a deeper and more plentiful source of sustenance.

..

It's too early to say for certain that I will become all that I feel called to be, here, but it sure feels like a good place to dig a little deeper.


Much more to come, as the snow melts and the mud clears and the waters settle..

Next stop.., TAOS.


LIVING, again.


`EDEN in New Mexico